What does it actually mean to be an escort?

I’ve thought a lot about the answer to this question over the past few years and have now come to the conclu­sion that it is time for me to write a little article about it:

Escort has little in common with visit­ing a brothel.

A brothel is about sex — love for sale and the satis­fac­tion of sexual urges. Instincts — I use this word in this context quite carefully. The escort is more about the satis­fac­tion of sexual needs and the fulfill­ment of sexual fantasies. Escort ladies are muses and inspi­ra­tion for sexual­ity. This is not about the sexual act itself, but about the meaning and promises of eroti­cism. It’s about something real, about real experi­ences and expand­ing one’s sexual horizons.

But how do I describe it all? How do I find the right words?

Some time ago I came across a novel that cast a spell over me:

Delta of Venus – by Anais Nin.

The descrip­tions of eroti­cism and sexual­ity simply spoke from my soul in some passages! Each sentence can be seen and under­stood as a strong quota­tion in and of itself. But what makes a fulfill­ing and erotic sex life and which aspects of it can the escort serve? In my opinion, it is the complex passion that Nin knows how to describe so wonderfully:

»Sexual­ity cannot flour­ish in monot­ony, not without feelings, ideas, whims, surprises in bed.«

Sexual­ity cannot really do that .. grow and flour­ish without being stimu­lated, without receiv­ing new nourish­ment. Because then sexual­ity gradu­ally loses its substance and at some point it proba­bly disap­pears completely — as it does in so many loveless relation­ships or in too deep loneliness.

This is why it is so essen­tial to stimu­late the sexual imagi­na­tion. Because sexual­ity needs enough fuel in order not to become dull.

»The sexual event has to mix with tears, with laugh­ter, with words, promises, scenes, jealousy, envy, all the spices of fear, trips to distant lands, new faces, novels, stories, dreams, fantasies, music, dance, opium, wine.«

Once again, Nin aptly describes what it takes for a full sex life. Because sexual­ity is not just about sex, it is much more than that. Above all, it’s about a passion­ate, fulfilled way of life that serves all spectrums: reality, fantasy, fiction, emotion and enjoy­ment (to name just a few).

This is what I am looking for and this is what I want to give to others.

»Leave out every­thing poetic. Keine Haut hat die gleiche Textur, wie die andere, immer wieder ändert sich die Beleuch­tung […] Das Geschlechtliche verliert alle Macht und Magie, wenn es überdeut­lich, übertrieben und mecha­nisch dargestellt, wenn es zur fixen Idee wird. It gets dull.«

It’s also about context and variety. Nin even goes so far as to speak of magic — something that one can neither grasp nor explain nor grasp.

Anais Nin speaks from my soul in many ways. While reading, I often had to pause to think about what sexual­ity, passion, eroti­cism and also love mean to me. It also became clearer to me (among other things) why I am so passion­ate about working as an escort:

It’s the variety, the promise and this magic of eroti­cism that make my job so excit­ing for me. And I experi­ence this variety, this promise and this magic not only for myself. I also experi­ence you with my customers, who may feel the same way as I do and are also looking for this form of lust and sexual­ity in their lives and which we find together in our adventures.

This is what it means to be an escort.

You are both an inspi­ra­tion and a muse, an object of desire and the desire. You give and receive the fire of passion, live your imagi­na­tion and help others to live out your own imagi­na­tion. You are not an every­day occur­rence but seek fulfill­ment in the unique. And every contact is unique, every sexual partner something special. And so in my life as an escort the sexual happen­ings mixes with every­thing: with tears, with laugh­ter, with words, promises, scenes … all the spices of fear, trips to distant countries, new faces, novels, stories, dreams, Fantasy, the music, the dance and the wine. It partly actually does it and partly in the imagi­na­tion — and it is always an enrich­ment and an inspi­ra­tion, both for me and for my customers.

»More than any other person I know, we have learned from you how wrong it is to separate sex from emotion, hunger, lust, desire, from moods, whims, personal ties that affect one’s color, one’s taste, change its rhythm, its identity.«